Tag: break up

Articles about relationships, Creative Writing, Dating/Relationships

Dating: Love Will Knock You Down

kylefreelander

One day you will kiss the wrong person hello because you are eager not to feel alone. The kiss will be plastic and there will be no spark but you will stay anyway. A hand held remains warm for a while, even if there is no fire. You are tired of being cold.

Love Will Knock You DownOriginal Image from flickr

One day you will fall for the wrong line because you are a lover of words that weave their way through your soul and make themselves at home in your heart. You collect these words in clips and phrases so they fit into your memories until they have grown sour with time. You will try to tear them out of your past and out of your mind but you cannot keep them from their home. This is something you will learn to understand because you know words are more than “just words”: they are moments and ideas that expressed something you thought would never be captured, and yet there it was. Hold onto that even if it hurts.

One day you will leave the “right one” for the wrong reasons. You will wake every day wishing you could take it all back, but what’s done is done. Find comfort in the fact that there will be a time you will leave the “wrong one” for the right reasons.

One day you will hold back an apology you should have said. This will be the apology that floats like a tumbleweed through your body, resurfacing when you let your mind wander back to all the times you could have said those words but bit your tongue with pride instead. Learn to say sorry; learn to set yourself free.

One day you will promise someone a premature “I love you” because you want so badly for that to be true. However, love cannot be forced. You can make yourself say the words but you cannot make your heart feel something it does not. One day you will figure that out, but not before somebody gets hurt.

One day you will bleed from pain caused by someone you care for. May the offense be little or large, your blood will spill the same way tears fall: slowly at first and then faster and faster until there is nothing left for you to offer. From the middle of the pool you will cry out, but no one will hear you. There you will sit until you learn to stand on your own two feet once more. When you stand again you are strong, but not immune.

Use that strength to start over.

{{Originally published at Thought Catalog.}}

sad love quotes

Creative Writing, Poetry

Poetry: Best of Luck

kylefreelander

You were always looking to replace me

and I wish that you knew what that felt

like, to be constantly not good enough

to compete with yet another pretty face,

a secretary with benefits I didn’t see

coming. I guess there was always meant

to be a punishment for loving so blindly

and for being invested in something

you had already decided to return,

but I move on and move forward

every day because I know you have

it coming for you. You did it to yourself

and I owe myself an apology for letting

it go on for this long, for not seeing

the signs that you were a boy

when I already knew I needed

a gentleman. It is too late to dwell

on all of that now. It is the time

for me to wish upon a shooting star

that all of this will blow up in your face,

that she decides you are no longer

a pretty face and that she leaves

you with no reason like the way

you so easily left me. I would never

wish bad things, but I don’t feel

the need to be nice to you anymore,

and one day she won’t either.

Creative Writing, Poetry

Poetry: Our Demise

kylefreelander

I don’t usually dedicate my poems, especially ones on my blog, but I am mixing it up this time. Someone who is very close to me is feeling some serious heartbreak right now, and I wrote this poem with her in mind. It has been a few months now, but the heartbreak is just as real as if it were yesterday. I want her to know that I feel that, and I want to help her through it.

As most people know, that is a hard task for anyone. So, I have taken to what I know best: writing. This is a poem about love just as much as it is a poem about loss, and I dedicate it to my beautiful friend. You are more than like a sister to me. <3

” ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” -Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Our Demise

I.

His eyes are wide with smiles, and I wonder how I am so lucky.

 

II.

I ask him what he sees in me.

He simply replies, “What others do not.”

 

III.

It is late one night when I say, “You feel like home.”

 

IV.

He tells me that I am beautiful today

and kisses me on the forehead.

My skin enters into a waltz I cannot control

but have no desire to wish away.

 

V.

I tell him he is my future, and he replies, “I’m okay with that.”

 

VI.

He stares at me quietly

and I feel the minutes wind

around my lungs and loop

themselves into a tingling hello

that precedes the words, “I love you.”

My insides do somersaults for days.

 

VII.

Everything is perfect until it is not.

 

VIII.

I ask him to open up to me,

but he keeps me in the dark.

Once again I hold his hand,

but I know I don’t have his heart.

 

IX.

His fingertips pull away, and I beg for them to come back.

 

X.

I catch him in a lie again and he knows

to say, “I’m sorry,” but he says nothing more.

 

XI.

His eyes are wide with miles, and I wait for goodbye.

Creative Writing, Poetry

Poetry: You Miss Everything

kylefreelander

I don’t know how

to be someone you miss

as much as football season,

or holiday drinks at Starbucks,

the kiss of a new year,

a hand held on Valentine’s day,

a free slurpee on July 11th,

the smell of the ocean,

the stroke of a snowflake,

the taste of a new book

devoured by your fingertips.

I watch you grieve

the loss of all these things

from afar and I wish

that I could console you,

that I could tell you

these moments will come again,

but being missed

is not my area of expertise

and you know that

better than anyone.

Creative Writing, Fiction, short short story

Fiction: Two Sugars

kylefreelander

Truth be told, I miss him. I had been trying to hide that fact from others and myself for a while now but there was no point anymore. I could no longer avoid the parties he went to, the games he was going to play in, and the halls where his classes were and claim we weren’t friends anymore because I didn’t care. No, that wasn’t the case at all. I didn’t even have to try and avoid him because I knew he would be trying just as hard as I was to never have our paths cross again. No matter where I went, he was nowhere to be found. That is, he was nowhere to be found until today.

I spotted him as soon as he walked into the coffee shop. I nearly spit my white mocha out all over my book but I captured my surprise in time to regain the appearance of composure in case he looked my way. From my seat near the door, I could only see the back of him as he found his place in line, one person away from the counter. He was at the cash register, probably ordering his usual: dark roast, two sugars. Some things about him would never change: the coffee he drank, the way his brown hair remained disheveled no matter how many times he claimed to have brushed it, and how he was never able to sense my presence in a crowded coffee shop the way I could sense his.

From behind my book I watched him as he handed the cashier his credit card. Part of me wanted to remain unnoticed by him because I knew it was best for both of us but the other part of me knew he was going to see me on the way out. It didn’t occur to me until the woman handed him his coffee that I could have left by now. I could have snuck out and he wouldn’t even have known that I was here, but it was too late. He took his coffee from her and turned to leave. I ducked further behind my book as he started walking in my direction. I knew now that I didn’t want him to see me because that meant I would be forced to look into those familiar brown eyes again and remember everything I tried so hard to forget: the time we walked hand in hand through the snow, the night he told me he loved me over Fritos and a movie, the meaningful glances and kisses up until he said goodbye. A few months weren’t enough to bury those memories forever and I knew one look from him would be enough to bring them all back to the surface.

The door chimed as he left the shop. I put my book down on the table, surprised that it actually doubled as a hiding spot. Sure, it was intended to be one but I pretty much knew he was going to see me anyway and, with flushed cheeks, I would put the book down with a laugh about how I was just so into the story. Then that crooked smile would come over his face like it always did when I was doing something I knew was probably stupid but he insisted was actually adorable. He would sit in the empty seat across from me and we would talk for hours about all the things that made us go wrong until we made all of them go away so that we could be right again. That’s what was supposed to happen. He wasn’t just supposed to leave without so much as a glance.

I looked out the window and, through the painted letters advertising the shop’s seasonal coffee, I watched him cross the parking lot. I guess today was not the day we were meant to talk again. He set his coffee on top of his car as he pulled his keys out but his attention was clearly elsewhere. I tried to follow his gaze, but I could only guess what he was looking at from the back of his head. I couldn’t figure out what he found so fascinating in a lot full of cars. He turned around and our eyes met through the glass. I leapt back a little in my seat bumping the table enough to cause my coffee to dance in the mug. He waved at me and I had no choice but to wave back as if I hadn’t been waiting for this moment ever since he walked in or, more accurately, ever since he had walked out. Behind him I could now make out my own car and I knew exactly what he had seen that made him turn around and search the coffee shop. Maybe he was just as surprised about our run in but, if he was, he didn’t stay long enough for me to find out. There was nothing more to be done after waves were exchanged and, as always, he was the one who got to go away.

By: Kyle Freelander