It is easy to sit around wishing and hoping for someone fantastic to fall into your lap (literally or metaphorically), but, for most people, that doesn’t just happen. You have to take certain steps to find the person you want to be with just as you have to take steps to be the sort of person they would want to be with. Sure, there is something to be said for just being yourself, but sometimes “just being” yourself leads to lack of effort, and lack of effort leads to lack of interest, and we all know where that leads. Here are some tips for how to attract the sort of person you actually want to be with (or at least someone who is better than your ex):
Be a better version of yourself first.
Let’s clarify this right away: do not change who you are. Be yourself, just be the best version of yourself that you have to offer. Be driven. Push yourself. Chase your dreams. Have thoughts and opinions and interesting things to say. Have something to offer that has no monetary value. Be excited about something. Have likes and dislikes and things you still aren’t sure about. Be well-rounded and interesting. Be you.
Be someone they can trust.
Hopefully the importance of being trustworthy isn’t lost on you. Being trustworthy lessens the likelihood of future issues with jealousy and makes you someone they can actually put their faith in. Being with someone you cannot trust is a unique form of torture. Don’t inflict that upon yourself or your potential partner. Take the extra care to be someone they can trust and you’ll find that you’ll attract someone you can trust as well. Call when you say you’ll call. Be on time, or at least have the decency to cancel when you know you aren’t going to make it (and then reschedule!). Follow through on your promises. If you promised to take care of his dog while he visits his family for the weekend or if you promised her that you would come over to fix her flat tire or what have you –do it! Most importantly, be honest. Tell the truth and avoid lies. Expect the same from them.
Be single.
No, it is not okay to be looking for the next best thing while in any sort of relationship. If you are ready to end your current relationship, then end it before you start fishing around to see what is out there. If you are willing to cheat with them, you are willing to cheat on them and that is something that will always be on your date’s mind. AKA it will be near impossible to trust you (and we discussed the importance of that!).
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