Tag: kyle freelander

What I am up to

Goodbye 2015!

Kyle Freelander

It’s been a while since I’ve done the whole blogging thing. I could make the expected excuses of all work and no play, but that feels unnecessary. Instead, let’s go with thank you. Thank you for continuing to follow this blog. Thank you for the continued support on this site as well as Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, and wherever else we have been able to come together. Most importantly, thank you for being you. I value each and every one of my readers, and I know that I couldn’t be who I am as a writer without you all being who you are.

Here are some of the writer-ly (or whatever) things I’ve been up to in 2015:

  • I finished my first year and a half of graduate school! This means I’m now officially halfway through my MFA program. That is both an exciting thought as well as a terrifying one. I’m not sure where I’ll be after getting this degree, but I know that I will be a stronger writer for it.
  • I started teaching English 101 (and am now prepping to teach ENGH 101 and 201 in the spring). Teaching college students has been an interesting (and usually rewarding) experience. I realize that a lot of students really value the feedback they get and take their inquiries outside of the classroom. Now I can laugh at all of the times that I used to say I never wanted to be a teacher. Well, maybe it’s more of a quick chuckle.
  • I started working on my thesis project. It’s a book I’ve tried starting two other times but ended up setting aside again. In many ways, it’s different than what I’ve written before but, in a lot of ways, it is familiar to my writing. This third start really has been the charm. I feel like I have a better understanding of my characters (who are now a lot more interesting than they were before!) and that my relatively complicated story line is becoming clearer. I’m very excited to continue working on this piece and cannot wait to let you all know when my first draft is done! (This will be quite a while. Don’t hold your breath.)
  • There has been a lot of tutoring this year. It’s been rewarding to help younger students reach their full potential in English (reading, writing, grammar, etc.). Then there’s the math tutoring that I thought I left in the past but it has actually been a lot of fun to revisit the topics I thought I left behind. It’s all so much easier now. (Having answer keys might be part of the equation there…)
  • I also spent some quality time teaching creative writing workshops as part of the Sally Merton Fellowship program. It’s fun to see how excited the kids get about getting to do something creative (and just having a new face in the classroom). Also, I value the collection of drawings and thank you cards that these kids have given me. I could probably do with a little less hair-braiding, but even I can’t really complain about that.
  • Fall for the Book 2015 was also a major success (in spite of the impending hurricane that thankfully dissipated so that we could continue the festival as planned). During the festival, I had a chance to talk to Tim O’Brien and get my book signed. Steve Watkins (a former UMW professor whose class I was sooooo close to taking) was there as well and it was nice to get a chance to chat with him. (He gets a double thanks for giving me a signed copy of his book as well!)
  • In addition to all of that, I drank obscene amounts of coffee, met new people, went new places, and lived to write about it all. Stay tuned this 2016 for more writing and reflecting on A Dose of Kyle.

 

Enough about me. What have you accomplished this year? Did you get lots of writing done? Read any good books? Travel to several cool places? Leave a comment below!

What I am up to

What I am thankful for:

kylefreelander

Thanksgiving is the time of year when we all take a moment and really appreciate the things we may have taken for granted throughout the year or even during our lives. So, while it is not meant to be a complete list, here is my list of what I am thankful for this year (in no specific order):

 

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My family.

My parents for obvious reasons, but I am especially thankful for my sisters. We may have disagreements, crankiness due to lack of coffee, and our dogs might legitimately hate each other, but those are always temporary (well, dogs…who knows). In them I have two shopping buddies, people who are forced to at least occasionally like the same types of food, ones who understand where I come from, where I’m am, and where I want to be. They are the people I can talk to about my day, tell my crazy stories to, or even just seek advice about my latest strange dream. I like the way we have inside jokes, the same sense of humor, and that we look related in photos. Mainly though, I like the fact that we’re friends when life only forced us to be related.

 

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Graduate School.

I’m not even quite sure where to start on this one. It’s almost two-fold. I am thankful for getting into George Mason’s MFA program. I remember the anticipation of waiting to hear back, the doubts as to whether or not I had made the right choice in choosing not to accept a different school’s offer the previous year, and then all of the smiles and hugs and congratulations once I got my acceptance letter –just when I was about to give up hope.

Now I am thankful for actually being in graduate school. I am currently wrapping up my first semester in the MFA program and already I feel like I have done and learned a lot. From teaching opportunities, to Fall for the Book, to all of my classes, to the books I read, to the stories I’ve written, to the horse blog I started, the new people I have met, the friends I’ve made, and everything in between –I am thankful.

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My friends.

All of them are fabulous. They are there to partake in happy hour, brunch, shopping, or even going on the boring errand I didn’t want to do alone. We swap stories, offer advice, talk about the good ole days, talk about the great new days, try new things, and just take a break from the stress of the world. I am ever thankful to each and every one of my friends for being some combination of that for me as I hope I am able to offer the same to them.

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My boyfriend.

He is there when I need a shoulder to cry on, when I have a coffee addiction to deal with, when I need a push, or even when I just need some support. We have had moments of weakness (it would be naïve to pretend that everyone is happy all of the time), but we have come out of those moments stronger and with a better understanding of who we are as individuals. He takes interest (and usually even takes part of) the things I am interested in: he listens to me read a cool story aloud, goes to horse shows with me, watches me horseback ride (and sets up the ring for me as needed), reads my writing, shares my current writing that’s out there in the world already, and then always looks for something he could be doing more. I feel appreciated, challenged as a person, and I know that there will never have a dull moment with him.

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My dog.

Dusty is an angelic soul…hahaha. Okay, but really. I am thankful for Dusty in spite of the fact that he invites himself up on the couch, barks at all other dogs, barks at all birds, manages to get his leash trapped under the hood of the car (props for that one), eats the remainder of the pre-holiday cookies for my early Christmas enjoyment, and the fact that he refuses to wear the bowtie I hand crafted him for more than maybe 5 minutes. Why, you ask? Because he is Dusty. Dusty my little shelter dog that I got during my freshmen year of college. Dusty the dog who likes cuddles, has no qualms with forcing you to pet him, follows me around the house, gets overly excited every time he sees me regardless of how long I’ve been gone, the one who thinks my shoes are the coziest dog bed, the one who lets me dress him up in clothes (which is actually a development new to this year), and the one who loves me regardless of how many things I’ve had to scold him for that day. You can follow him on Instagram @oldmandustydog (no joke –he has the occasional need in life for mindless activities to give him a break from his intensive dog studies).

Facing the Tide

My book.

My first novel, Facing the Tide, was released a little over a year ago (11/12/13) as and ebook. This year on (2/15/14), it was released as a paperback. I spend a lot of time flipping being proud of my book and trying to shield its existence from certain people. This is not because of the content/plot of my book (which I like very much), but more because of the connotation of “self-publishing” or “Indie publishing.” Some people think that this term does not hold as much merit as a book that goes through the methods of traditional publishing, and I admit that I have been guilty of similar thoughts on occasion. They are thoughts that I struggled with even before my decision to go ahead and publish my book anyway (there were several factors at play here, none of them being that my book “wasn’t good enough” for traditional publishing). Between all the time I spent writing, revising, rewriting, editing, designing the cover, formatting the layout, getting all the things that make a book a book (hello, ISBN number), and all of the marketing and promotional components to getting a book out there…I feel foolish for even being “embarrassed” for a second about my book. It is something that I have invested time, money, heart, and soul into and, for that, I am proud and thankful (especially thankful for those who have read the book and/or supported me throughout this process).

Creative Writing, Dating/Relationships, Poetry

Poetry: Edges

kylefreelander

She is all edges

and I see you try

to sand her down

so she is as smooth

as a stone made for skipping

across your heart,

but still edges grow about her.

Like plants in the doormat,

they appear when you are not looking,

as if overnight. You shake

your head in disbelief

as she stands strong

against you when you hoped

she would melt at your feet

and heed your command

–yet again –but she does not

crumble and she does not bleed

for you anymore. Steel warrior

of her life starting today,

and you dare to ask

for tomorrow.

 

 

 

Photo courtesy of flickr

Poetry

Poetry: Tepid Water

kylefreelander

Your fingertips caress my skin

and I shiver in fear

of what this all means

as you pull webs

from my heart to take home

for display in your showcase

of conquests. I wait

for your return because I know

this will not be the last time

I see you, the last time I feel you.

You are the only one who reaches

for me anymore. Damaged goods.

Debris covered shore that no one

looks to love anymore.

Your touch is cool with years

but it is the only warm embrace

I receive, that I will receive,

until you have pulled

every last grain of me

into your depths

for a proper burial

out at sea where I can drown

in the past I will never escape.

Creative Writing, Poetry

Poetry: Love Sludge

kylefreelander

You choose to make me live a lie

when that is not a choice you are allowed

to make alone. I know you and I know

when you lie, when you cross lines

only to pretend you are innocent.

I gave you the chance to confess,

to put the pain of a lie touching

my “I love you”s to rest, but you continue

to play with me and my heart. I try

to move forward with you but lies

keep us tethered to the past, unresolved

and consequently bitter to the point

where three simple words become

so complicated, pouring out like wet sand

instead of sugar. I want us to move along,

to go forward, but I cannot be the one dragging

you through the sludge we’ve made

with every lie and secret and half-truth

that stole our honesty and our love.

Creative Writing, Dating/Relationships, Poetry

Poetry: Suppose

kylefreelander

Suppose we never met.
Suppose we never dove into love.
Suppose you weren’t at the bar
to catch me as I fell down.
Suppose we never kissed.
Suppose we never felt the fireworks.
Suppose I wasn’t there to fill
the void she left inside of you.
Suppose we never lied.
Suppose we never said goodbye.
Suppose we never did
get it quite right.

Creative Writing, Dating/Relationships, Poetry

Poetry: Gatekeeper

kylefreelander

I know there are times you don’t see me,

times when we are apart and I am so far

from you that I don’t cross your mind.

Those are the times the gates fly open

and you round up the cattle to keep

you company in the empty field.

You tell yourself it’s innocent,

I know you do, that it’s all in good fun.

It’s a game with no rules

but everyone, including me, know

when it’s played. I fear these times

the most. It feels like my heart

is buried under stone after stone,

a weight so heavy I begin to choke.

You know nothing of that though.

It is a concern I keep to myself,

in my locket that I guard better

then I am able to guard my heart

from you and your field that feeds

plenty when I am away. I wonder

how long it takes for something

to remind you of me, if it happens

at all. Does it take minutes or hours

or even days? Maybe you don’t think

of me the whole time I am away

for I am not there to keep them at bay

and you are too weak in the knees

not to fall at the feet of these sheep

and ask them to play with a big bad wolf.

Creative Writing, Poetry

Poetry: Pillow Top

kylefreelander

Some stories end

and some go on.

 

I told you “I love you,”

but I was wrong.

 

Too many nights of uncertainty

were lying next to me,

 

pillow top couldn’t make lies

STOP

nor put me to rest

anymore.

 

I tell you a story

of boy meets girl.

 

You buy a ring.

You buy a dream.

 

With words like diamonds,

you enchant and hurt me,

 

relentlessly, effortlessly,

until tears are considered normal.

 

It was a story of a girl

who loved a boy too much.

 

A cut I know won’t heal,

a scar I will always feel,

 

tongue lashing, we’re crashing

and I cry out for you—-

 

Some stories end,

and some go on.

 

Boy meets girl,

and it was wrong.

 

There was a ring

and a dream,

 

and a girl who loved

a boy too much.

 

I say, “I love you,”

but the pillow top

makes it all STOP.

Creative Writing, Poetry

Poetry: Windows

kylefreelander

Windows that have been shut should not be opened.

From time to time you can glance through them

and remember a life you once led, but be careful:

too much time starting out a window surveying

memory lane is a trap. You don’t look forward

because you’re too busy looking back. With palms

pressed against the fragile glass, you beg for the familiar,

the embrace that once protected you,

instead of seeking something new. You don’t age

and you don’t grow, you’re always that little girl

crying at home alone. Saliva kiss marks on salt-stained glass

from a girl who knew it wouldn’t last. A slam of a fist

with a wish to be fixed that no one can grant.

A crack in the glass where he tries to make his way back

to her but she cannot be found waiting there. She has changed

and she has grown, done staring at closed windows getting cold,

and when he reaches for her again she knows to pull back and turn away,

for this wasn’t forever they were facing together. It was the end.

Kyle, What I am up to

Why I’ve Been Sucking at Writing Lately

kylefreelander

So somewhere within the whole getting into graduate school, packing, moving out, moving in, unpacking, starting a new job #1, starting a new job #2, and watching my baby sister graduate, I got a little off track with my writing. My blog experienced a delay in my regular posts that I am genuinely sorry for. The novel I am currently working on also got put on pause. However, I am writing this update to say that I am getting back on track starting TODAY…beginning with this post. Thank you all for bearing with me and I can’t wait to share more with you very soon (don’t fall off the edge of your seat)! For now though, quench your thirst for more Kyle by reading my articles on Thought Catalog if you haven’t already –I would really appreciate the support! <3

What the Person You Deserve is Like: http://thoughtcatalog.com/kyle-freelander/2014/05/what-the-person-you-deserve-is-like/

Love Will Knock You Down: http://thoughtcatalog.com/kyle-freelander/2014/05/love-will-knock-you-down/