Category: Dating/Relationships

Relationships involve two different personalities finding away to come together. This involves compromise, and a fair amount of it! However, there are times you shouldn’t compromise –like when it comes to your identity. Making such compromises can make you feel uncomfortable, depressed, and taken advantage of. You should never feel like you need to compromise who you are to make a relationship work. If your partner does not love all aspects of you, then they are the wrong person for you. Here are some things that you should not be compromising on:

Your self-respect

Do not stay with someone who talks down to you, tells you what to do, or points out your every “flaw.” You are a human being, same as them, and you deserve respect. They are not “better than you,” “out of your league,” or even irreplaceable. The person you are with should appreciate and respect you. If they cannot offer you that, they do not deserve what you have to offer.

Your friends.

Friends come and go naturally. This is a sad reality of life. What is even sadder (and unhealthy) is dating someone who tries to tell you who you can or cannot be friends with. Your partner does not have to like all your friends but they should accept that you do like these people. Your friends have supported you, hung out with you, picked you up when you were down, and were all around there for you. Your partner should be adding to that support system, not breaking it. If your partner is isolating you from your friends, you are not in a healthy relationship. Do not compromise on this.

Read the rest of this post on Heyy App’s blog!

It may be winter, but this year’s hunting season has already begun.

“Mate poaching,” or stealing someone away from their current partner to claim as your own, is not the answer to your happiness. It doesn’t matter how dreamy you think they are or that you “know” you are meant to spend the rest of your lives together. It doesn’t even matter that their current partner is horrible, doesn’t understand them, or have the time of day for them. None of those things matter. They are taken. Even if you were to poach them from their mate, they are not going to make you happy anymore than you’d be able to make them happy. The reality is that a person poached is more likely to cheat in the future, not susceptible to outside-initiated change, and is currently undeserving of your trust.

We all know the saying: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Is it always true? Maybe not. I, like most people, would like to believe that a cheater will realize they have been in the wrong and change their ways. But that’s not how it tends to go. More often than not, “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true. Sad, but true.

Sure, you want to believe you are different. Most of us could even manage to convince ourselves that this relationship is something different for them too. I’m sure their previous partner felt the same way. Save yourself the trouble and the heartbreak. Find a partner who is already single and open to a new relationship because a partner poached is not going to be a good partner for you. Why? Because it doesn’t matter if this is a new relationship so much as it matters if the person poached is different.

Another saying we all know but still manage to question the validity of is that you cannot change somebody that doesn’t want to be changed. Unless your newly-poached mate desires to change themselves, you will not be able to change them. This means you will not be able to keep them from cheating by any sort of sorcery or secret wishes. It is up to them to make that change from willing-to-cheat to committed. In the meantime, you will likely loose sleep over worry. Worrying if they are shopping around, even if it’s only window shopping. Worry that they’re flirting with someone else. Worry that they found someone else. Worry that they are cheating. Worry that they are staying late at the office, going out of town, making plans without you…worry that they are doing anything.

Read the rest of Mate Poaching: A Field Guide here and get more dating articles on Heyy App’s blog!

So you’ve found someone you are into. Maybe you’ve been into them for a while now and you’re not quite sure what’s going on other than that you are…well, waiting. Well wait no longer! Here’s how to get from acquaintances all the way to and through that first date:

Build the foundation.

Flirt. Flirting, whether via words (especially compliments) or actions (like a light touch on the arm), is one way of letting someone know that you are into them. However, flirting isn’t always clear. Sometimes it’s missed altogether and other times innocent actions are misconstrued.

Have meaningful conversations. Show the person you are interested in that you are actually interested! This is more than flirting. Listen to what they are saying and ask follow up questions. Show that you value what they have to say.

Who should ask who out?

Someone needs to make the first move. Regardless of your gender, who texted who last, what your bff’s bf’s bff thinks you should do, or if you are sure they are going to make their move any day now, you should make the first move. Why not? Aren’t you sick of waiting for them to do it? What if they are waiting for you? Are you okay with you both just waiting around long enough to miss out on the possibility altogether? Didn’t think so. Be bold. Be brave. Make the first move and ask them out already.

Get the rest of the answers to the big questions about getting to that first date! The rest of this post can be found on Heyy App’s blog!

We’ve all either been told this before or have said it to someone else ourselves: it is hard to tell when someone has a crush on you. Sure, you’re the first to figure out when your friends are crushing on someone (or when that someone is crushing on them), but trying to figure out when someone has a crush on you is an entirely different story. However, knowing when someone has a crush on you is important. You don’t want to lead someone on if you are not interested in them romantically anymore than you want to miss out on the opportunity of a relationship with the person who may be perfect for you. So how do you know when someone has a crush on you? Here is a list to make that task just a little bit easier for you:

1. They have nothing but nice things to say about you. They compliment you sincerely. When you’re not around, they speak highly of you to friends, acquaintances, or even people they just met. If they are talking to mutual friends, they’ll ask about you (and the people you care about) in order to get to know you better.

2. An obvious clue is that they are flirting with you. Less obvious might be the way in which they are flirting. Flirting takes on many forms and is different for everyone. Some people shower you with compliments, others make fun of you in a teasing manner, some don’t say much to you but their eyes speak wonders.

3. On the note of eyes: their eyes are always on you. When you catch them staring, they blush and look away and you swoon just like you did back in middle school when the popular kid’s gaze lingered in your direction a second longer than was considered to be casual.

4. They smile at you and around you.

5. They are eager to help you with anything at anytime. When it comes to you, nothing seems to be inconvenient or out of the question. The normal person puts their self first, so anyone who is taking time out of their day (especially on a somewhat regular basis) to help you out without getting anything in return is certainly interested in you.

Read the rest on Heyy App’s blog

Looking for love in the new year? These 12 resolutions will help you find exactly what you are looking for! The best part: they are easy to stick to.

Go on more dates. More specifically, date outside of “your type.” You might find that there is something better out there than the pool you were limiting yourself to.

Be open. It is easy to fall for someone at surface level, but true love is found when we are at our most vulnerable.

Try a blind date. If going on a date with a complete stranger makes you weary, ask your friend to set you up!

Try something new. Aim for dates that are fun and unique, something you’ll both remember.

Be honest. No one likes to be lied to anymore than they want to be in a relationship with someone they cannot trust.

Learn when to hold on and when to let go. Not every person is someone you should date and not every couple is meant to stay together.

Read the rest of this post on Heyy App’s blog! (Where this post originally appeared)

Sometimes, comparisons happen before we even realize we are doing it. We are trained to compare products and sometimes this leaks into the realm of dating. After all, we humans do seem to relish the ever-haunting “what if” moments, always unsure as to whether we have made the right choice. However, comparisons in regards to our partner and other people will not lead to happiness for anyone. Apples and oranges, people, apples and oranges. Here are some reminders as to why this remains true and some hints to get rid of the urge to compare when it comes to love.

Comparing Your Partner to Your Exes

This is, understandably, easy to do. They are your romantic partner, your ex was once your romantic partner, but this sort of comparison is a major no-no. Fact is, that your significant other is not your ex. They don’t look like your ex. They don’t sound like your ex. When they laugh, it’s not going to be the same jingle or even at the same volume or note. They won’t like the same movies, frequent the same places, think the violin is the coolest instrument known to planet earth, belch the ABCs (thankfully?), or even drink almond milk. They don’t mind leggings being worn as pants, think clowns are cute in an inexplicable sort of way, carry a book in their car just to say they are reading something, or even believe in mermaids.

Comparing them (even if you think it is “innocent” because they’ll “never know”) sets your mind up for continued comparisons down the road, putting your current significant other [unknowingly] in competition with your ex, or at least the memory of your ex.

Comparing Your Partner to Your Parents

Sure, it is normal to wonder whether or not your parents will like your new SO. You want your parents to like them and for your significant other to like your parents, right? But to compare them?

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It is easy to sit around wishing and hoping for someone fantastic to fall into your lap (literally or metaphorically), but, for most people, that doesn’t just happen. You have to take certain steps to find the person you want to be with just as you have to take steps to be the sort of person they would want to be with. Sure, there is something to be said for just being yourself, but sometimes “just being” yourself leads to lack of effort, and lack of effort leads to lack of interest, and we all know where that leads. Here are some tips for how to attract the sort of person you actually want to be with (or at least someone who is better than your ex):

Be a better version of yourself first.

Let’s clarify this right away: do not change who you are. Be yourself, just be the best version of yourself that you have to offer. Be driven. Push yourself. Chase your dreams. Have thoughts and opinions and interesting things to say. Have something to offer that has no monetary value. Be excited about something. Have likes and dislikes and things you still aren’t sure about. Be well-rounded and interesting. Be you.

Be someone they can trust.

Hopefully the importance of being trustworthy isn’t lost on you. Being trustworthy lessens the likelihood of future issues with jealousy and makes you someone they can actually put their faith in. Being with someone you cannot trust is a unique form of torture. Don’t inflict that upon yourself or your potential partner. Take the extra care to be someone they can trust and you’ll find that you’ll attract someone you can trust as well. Call when you say you’ll call. Be on time, or at least have the decency to cancel when you know you aren’t going to make it (and then reschedule!). Follow through on your promises. If you promised to take care of his dog while he visits his family for the weekend or if you promised her that you would come over to fix her flat tire or what have you –do it! Most importantly, be honest. Tell the truth and avoid lies. Expect the same from them.

Be single.

No, it is not okay to be looking for the next best thing while in any sort of relationship. If you are ready to end your current relationship, then end it before you start fishing around to see what is out there. If you are willing to cheat with them, you are willing to cheat on them and that is something that will always be on your date’s mind. AKA it will be near impossible to trust you (and we discussed the importance of that!).

Read the rest on Heyy App’s Blog