Sometimes, comparisons happen before we even realize we are doing it. We are trained to compare products and sometimes this leaks into the realm of dating. After all, we humans do seem to relish the ever-haunting “what if” moments, always unsure as to whether we have made the right choice. However, comparisons in regards to our partner and other people will not lead to happiness for anyone. Apples and oranges, people, apples and oranges. Here are some reminders as to why this remains true and some hints to get rid of the urge to compare when it comes to love.
Comparing Your Partner to Your Exes
This is, understandably, easy to do. They are your romantic partner, your ex was once your romantic partner, but this sort of comparison is a major no-no. Fact is, that your significant other is not your ex. They don’t look like your ex. They don’t sound like your ex. When they laugh, it’s not going to be the same jingle or even at the same volume or note. They won’t like the same movies, frequent the same places, think the violin is the coolest instrument known to planet earth, belch the ABCs (thankfully?), or even drink almond milk. They don’t mind leggings being worn as pants, think clowns are cute in an inexplicable sort of way, carry a book in their car just to say they are reading something, or even believe in mermaids.
Comparing them (even if you think it is “innocent” because they’ll “never know”) sets your mind up for continued comparisons down the road, putting your current significant other [unknowingly] in competition with your ex, or at least the memory of your ex.
Comparing Your Partner to Your Parents
Sure, it is normal to wonder whether or not your parents will like your new SO. You want your parents to like them and for your significant other to like your parents, right? But to compare them?
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