when the person you love loves someone else
Articles about relationships, Dating/Relationships

Dating: Mate Poaching- A Field Guide

It may be winter, but this year’s hunting season has already begun.

“Mate poaching,” or stealing someone away from their current partner to claim as your own, is not the answer to your happiness. It doesn’t matter how dreamy you think they are or that you “know” you are meant to spend the rest of your lives together. It doesn’t even matter that their current partner is horrible, doesn’t understand them, or have the time of day for them. None of those things matter. They are taken. Even if you were to poach them from their mate, they are not going to make you happy anymore than you’d be able to make them happy. The reality is that a person poached is more likely to cheat in the future, not susceptible to outside-initiated change, and is currently undeserving of your trust.

when the person you love loves someone else

We all know the saying: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Is it always true? Maybe not. I, like most people, would like to believe that a cheater will realize they have been in the wrong and change their ways. But that’s not how it tends to go. More often than not, “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true. Sad, but true.

Sure, you want to believe you are different. Most of us could even manage to convince ourselves that this relationship is something different for them too. I’m sure their previous partner felt the same way. Save yourself the trouble and the heartbreak. Find a partner who is already single and open to a new relationship because a partner poached is not going to be a good partner for you. Why? Because it doesn’t matter if this is a new relationship so much as it matters if the person poached is different.

Another saying we all know but still manage to question the validity of is that you cannot change somebody that doesn’t want to be changed. Unless your newly-poached mate desires to change themselves, you will not be able to change them. This means you will not be able to keep them from cheating by any sort of sorcery or secret wishes. It is up to them to make that change from willing-to-cheat to committed. In the meantime, you will likely loose sleep over worry. Worrying if they are shopping around, even if it’s only window shopping. Worry that they’re flirting with someone else. Worry that they found someone else. Worry that they are cheating. Worry that they are staying late at the office, going out of town, making plans without you…worry that they are doing anything.

Read the rest of Mate Poaching: A Field Guide here and get more dating articles on Heyy App’s blog!

Prompts, Writer Wednesday, Writing Quotes, Writing Tips

Writer Wednesday 40: Poetry

Quotes, prompts, inspiration, and more to help writers get back to writing. As always, let me know what you think! Did you try one of these writing prompts? Let me know! I love to see what other writers are up to. <3 Kyle Poetry Writer Wednesday

Quotes

“It’s always hard for poets to believe that one says their poems are bad not because one is a fiend but because their poems are bad.” -Randall Jarrell

“A poem is never unfinished, only abandoned.” -Paul Valéry

“A poet ought not to pick nature’s pocket. Let him borrow, and so borrow as to repay by the very act of borrowing. Examine nature accurately, but write from recollection, and trust more to the imagination than the memory.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge

“Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.” -Leonard Cohen

More quotes here.

poetry quote

Prompts

{{Have prompts you would like to see featured on a Writer Wednesday? Submit them here.}}

Recall a recent dream. Write a poem about it using as much detail as possible.

Write a poem about a shadow (your shadow, someone else’s shadow, an objects shadow, etc.)

Write a poem from the perspective of an object.

Try thinking like an animal. Write a poem about something important to them.

quotes about poetry

More

3 Tips for Consistent Tone

How to Create Animated Poetry

16 Ways to Not Win a Poetry Contest

Learn about the poetic form Qasida

bad poetry quote

More, more, more!

Have something to share? This is your chance to promote yourself, your blog, or even just a helpful site you came across. Submissions go here (and let’s hope they are writing related.)

Looking for more prompts and inspiration? Check out previous Writer Wednesdays!

Spread the love! Like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter. Maybe Tumblr is more your speed? Let’s join forces on Pinterest as well!

Write on!

Articles about relationships, Dating/Relationships

Dating: How To Get That First Date

So you’ve found someone you are into. Maybe you’ve been into them for a while now and you’re not quite sure what’s going on other than that you are…well, waiting. Well wait no longer! Here’s how to get from acquaintances all the way to and through that first date:

Get that first #date!

Build the foundation.

Flirt. Flirting, whether via words (especially compliments) or actions (like a light touch on the arm), is one way of letting someone know that you are into them. However, flirting isn’t always clear. Sometimes it’s missed altogether and other times innocent actions are misconstrued.

Have meaningful conversations. Show the person you are interested in that you are actually interested! This is more than flirting. Listen to what they are saying and ask follow up questions. Show that you value what they have to say.

 

Who should ask who out?

Someone needs to make the first move. Regardless of your gender, who texted who last, what your bff’s bf’s bff thinks you should do, or if you are sure they are going to make their move any day now, you should make the first move. Why not? Aren’t you sick of waiting for them to do it? What if they are waiting for you? Are you okay with you both just waiting around long enough to miss out on the possibility altogether? Didn’t think so. Be bold. Be brave. Make the first move and ask them out already.

 

Get the rest of the answers to the big questions about getting to that first date! The rest of this post can be found on Heyy App’s blog!

how to get that first date #fb #date

picking a journal
Journaling, Prompts

Journaling: 50+ Prompts!

Now that you’ve started the journaling process, it’s time to stick to it!  There will be days where you feel like you have nothing to write about. These days might come in pairs, clusters, weeks, or even months. But you need to keep writing! On top of being good writing practice, you really do have something to say. This collection of journal prompts is meant to inspire you, to help you reach places that you never even thought to delve into, or even just tickle your funny bone. Use one of them or use all of them. Just keep journaling! {Note: This post may contain affiliate links}

Journaling_ Writing About Your Day

Write about your day:

How are you?

What’s on your mind?

What was a good thing that happened today?

What do you wish hadn’t happened today?

What will you do differently tomorrow?

You get one redo for today. Do you take it? What do you change? Why?

What is your biggest concern right now?

What keeps you up at night?

More journal prompts

Make a List:

Things I Wish My Parents Knew About Me

Secrets About Me

Secrets I have kept

Things I want my children to know about me

Times your heart skipped a beat

Lessons you want your kids to learn

Things I did right this week

Funniest memories

Things that are important right now

Things I learned this past year

Lessons you learned the hard way

Things about _________

Promises you’ve made to yourself that you HAVE to keep

Promises you’ve made to others that you HAVE to keep

My most memorable teachers

Regrets that aren’t worth having

You’re going away for the weekend. What do you need to pack?

Places you want to travel to

Places you’ve been

Songs that describe my life right now

Songs that remind me of people, places, or things

Power of Threes journal prompts

 

Finish this thought:

I’m proud of ____________________ because ________________________.

Today I felt __________________ but then ___________________________

Tomorrow I hope to _________________________________

_________________ is my best friend because _____________________

If I had one super power it would be ______________ because _______________

If I had to move tomorrow, I would go to live in _____________ because ___________

I remember my childhood friend _______________ best because _______________

More journal prompts(1)

Other:

What you want to remind your future self

Give your younger-self advice in letter form

Your most embarrassing moment

Inspirational quotes

How I feel about writing

Fondest memory from your childhood, adolescence, college years, etc.

What you hope others see in you

The love letter you’ll never send

Your biggest regret

Your greatest accomplishment

Your ideal date

What your future looks like

Your role models

The weirdest thing you’ve bought lately

What is the world coming to?

Things I learned

Need some more prompts? Check out some of these books to keep you going!

Get more journaling ideas on my journaling Pinterest board!

Prompts, Writer Wednesday, Writing Quotes, Writing Tips

Writer Wednesday 39: Writing Tips & More!

Writers, it’s Wednesday again! Quotes, prompts, inspiration, writing tips, and more to help writers get back to writing. As always, let me know what you think! Did you try one of these writing prompts? Let me know! I love to see what other writers are up to. <3 Kyle

Writer Wednesday Pinterest Pens

Quotes

“To imagine yourself inside another person…is what a story writer does in every piece of work; it is his first step, and his last too, I suppose.” -Eudora Welty

“A writer of fiction lives in fear. Each new day demands new ideas and he can never be sure whether he is going to come up with them or not.” -Roald Dahl

“Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light.” -Joseph Pulitzer

fiction quotes

Prompts

{{Have prompts you would like to see featured on a Writer Wednesday? Submit them here.}}

You were excited about your new place until you found out that your neighbor is not who you thought they were.

Outside the snow is falling and you are snowed in with…wait, what is that?

Write a “Dear John” letter, breaking up with your high-school sweetheart who’s in the army.

He hadn’t seen her since the day they left high school.

This time her boss had gone too far.

Who is my neighbor writing prompt

Writing Tips and More!

How to Research Place for Your Novel

How to Hook a Reader (Analyzing 10 good opening lines)

Have you thought about journaling? Check out this mini series!

Writer Wednesday Pens

more, more, more!

Have something to share? This is your chance to promote yourself, your blog, or even just a helpful site you came across. Submissions go here (and let’s hope they are writing related.)

Looking for more prompts and inspiration? Check out previous Writer Wednesdays!

Spread the love! Like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter. Maybe Tumblr is more your speed? Let’s join forces on Pinterest as well!

Write on!

Journaling, Prompts

Journaling: 4 Ways to Start Journaling Today

The first entry in your new journal can be the most intimidating. Who is your audience? Where do you start? What do you write about? This post works to answer some of those big questions for you so you can get started on what’s important: journaling.

4 Easy Ways to Start Journaling

Who is your audience?

As I have said before, you are writing for yourself. Your journal is supposed to be a judgment free zone where you can express whatever you want without the fear of anyone else seeing it. Why then would I bring up audience? Because, while you are writing for yourself, you might want to think about the purpose of your journal.

If you use your journal as a place to record memories to look back upon, Future-You is actually your audience. In that sort of journal, you might want to make sure your entries have a little context to them rather than jumping right into current content. Future-You may not remember that you and your best friend were fighting for three days straight and that’s why you were at brunch with your awkward coworker instead. Save yourself the confusion and add context.

On the other hand, if you are just journaling for therapeutic means and have an intention to burn said journal after its completion (or, you know, never look at it again), then adding context might not be as significant as just getting down your thoughts.

 

 

Writing that first entry:

Option I: Start writing.

Just get to writing about what is on your mind right now. What problems have been trying to work themselves out in your mind? How was your day? What are you stressing about?

 

Option II: All about me!

Especially if you are writing to preserve memories, adding a section about yourself at the beginning of your journal can help give some context to your following entries. Here are some questions you might want to answer in a section like this:

All about me!

 

Do these questions tickle your fancy? A quick search online will lead you to several other surveys and questions that you can cut & paste into your journal (or just answer at random). If you are using paper or a notebook, you might even want to do a sort of adaptation of this entry each time you start a new journal.

Also, it is a good idea to add a picture of what you look like during this period of your life just to put a face to the writer. Remember, you’ll change a lot over the years and pictures can be a fun way to record that progress.

 

Option III: All pictures.

Like I said before, pictures are a good way to show memories. If possible, add captions to your photos to provide a little bit of context/story to your photos and your well on your way to a fun new journal.

 

Option IV: Looking forward.

Don’t want to dwell on the past? Spend your first entry looking forward! Even if it’s not January, you can create resolutions for yourself of what you want to accomplish in whatever amount of time. This could be especially helpful if you intend to use your journal to record your progress towards your goals.

journal resolutions

Regardless of how you start your journal (or if you’ve already started –go you!), the most important part of journaling is that you keep journaling. You don’t have to include everything about you in one entry. In fact, that would be tedious on you as a writer or even Future-You as a reader. Don’t wear yourself out. Write what you can handle. Some entries might be long and others might not be more than a paragraph or a photo. That’s fine. Just keep journaling.

Next up in journaling: Journaling Prompts! (To get you through the days where inspiration might be hiding.)

 

Let’s hear from you!

What do you like to include in a first journal entry?

Articles about relationships, Dating/Relationships

Dating: Do They Have A Crush On You?

We’ve all either been told this before or have said it to someone else ourselves: it is hard to tell when someone has a crush on you. Sure, you’re the first to figure out when your friends are crushing on someone (or when that someone is crushing on them), but trying to figure out when someone has a crush on you is an entirely different story. However, knowing when someone has a crush on you is important. You don’t want to lead someone on if you are not interested in them romantically anymore than you want to miss out on the opportunity of a relationship with the person who may be perfect for you. So how do you know when someone has a crush on you? Here is a list to make that task just a little bit easier for you:

Are they crushing on you_ #crush #relationships #romance

1. They have nothing but nice things to say about you. They compliment you sincerely. When you’re not around, they speak highly of you to friends, acquaintances, or even people they just met. If they are talking to mutual friends, they’ll ask about you (and the people you care about) in order to get to know you better.

2. An obvious clue is that they are flirting with you. Less obvious might be the way in which they are flirting. Flirting takes on many forms and is different for everyone. Some people shower you with compliments, others make fun of you in a teasing manner, some don’t say much to you but their eyes speak wonders.

3. On the note of eyes: their eyes are always on you. When you catch them staring, they blush and look away and you swoon just like you did back in middle school when the popular kid’s gaze lingered in your direction a second longer than was considered to be casual.

4. They smile at you and around you.

5. They are eager to help you with anything at anytime. When it comes to you, nothing seems to be inconvenient or out of the question. The normal person puts their self first, so anyone who is taking time out of their day (especially on a somewhat regular basis) to help you out without getting anything in return is certainly interested in you.

Read the rest on Heyy App’s blog

Journaling

Journaling: Picking Your Journal

It used to be that the only way to journal was to pick up a pencil and find yourself a notebook. Times have changed. Now there are computers, blogs, vlogs, apps, and even journals that come with prompts built in! So how do you know what journal is right for you?

I’ve compiled a list of some options you have when it comes to journaling. My goal is to weigh some pros and cons as well as to just get your creative juices flowing. Remember, there is a journal out there for everyone and a big part of sticking to journaling is finding the journaling platform you are actually excited to use. {Note: This post contains affiliate links}

journaling

Paper, notebook, and a beautiful writing utensil

This is the “classic” way to journal. When you think of someone journaling, they are sitting in a serene setting with a cute pen and even cuter notebook chronicling all the exciting things going on in their lives. Depending on how much you write, this can cause hand cramps that will ruin your serene moment and cut your entries short. However, it is the most accessible and does allow you the most options in regards to style and formatting. Everyone can find a journal, notebook, or stationary that they like enough to journal with and nowadays everyone is giving away free pens.

Another thing you might not have thought about: longevity. Pen is better than pencil when it comes to writing by hand. Pencil will rub and fade over time. Aim for an acid-free pen (such as these: Sanford Sharpie Fine Point Pen Stylo, Assorted Colors, 12-Pack) and you won’t have to worry about the record of your memories fading.

 

A document on your computer

For some people, typing is preferable to writing things out by hand. It takes up less time and gives you various formatting options. This is a good choice if you are looking to add a lot of pictures with your text as you won’t have to worry about breaking the binding of your notebook or printing costs. However, you will not have a tangible copy of your journal without printing it off.

Another thing worth thinking about: organization. Do you want to add to the same document, set up a new document for each entry, or something in between? One long document can make it hard to find what you are looking for when you look back through it. Several smaller documents can be a lot to look at in one folder. A compromise might be to set up folders by years and/or months (depending on how often you journal) to organize individual entries into or just creating one document per month that has all the entries for that given month. Ultimately, the choice is up to you but these are just some things to think about.

 

Blog

Blogging can be similar to keeping a document on your computer, but with more organization. Entries are automatically broken up by date and not stored on your computer (unless you do so manually). Plus you can easily search your archives for specific entries and customize a fun theme to get the look you want. Like a computer document, you’d have to print your own entries to get a tangible copy of your journal if you wanted one.

The obvious down side? Privacy. If you want to journal on a blog, you CAN do so without others seeing it. Just set your blog to private. How to do this varies for different types of blogs, but it is usually easy to do. On the other hand, if you are comfortable with others viewing your entries, you can make the choice to disable comments or otherwise mentally prepare yourself for trolls. Personally, I would set your blog to private if you choose this route.

As I said earlier this week (Reasons to Start Journaling Now), it is important that your journal is a judgment-free zone. Keep this in mind with all online journaling options. Set up your privacy settings to something you are comfortable with and you shouldn’t have a problem.

Picking your journal(1)

Vlog

While this is not the typical journaling method, you can “journal” using video. If you’re not into writing but you want to see the benefits from soul-searching, a vlog might be the way to go. You have a couple of options here. Using your webcam to record videos straight to your computer seems like the easiest way to go. Like with a document on your computer though, you will have to come up with an organizational method that will work for you. If you don’t have a webcam, your phone, a video camera on a tripod, or even an mp3 recording device can present an alternative for you.

If you don’t want to take up storage on your computer (videos can take up a lot of space overtime), you can invest in an external hard drive or consider uploading your videos. Whether that means saving them to the cloud or uploading them to a site is up to you. Some websites (such as YouTube) let you upload a video and decide if you want it to be public, private, or shareable via a link. This could be a good option if you think some of your vlogs will be helpful to other people. However, make sure you are staying true to yourself. Remember, you reap the benefits from journaling by being totally honest with yourself. You are not journaling for an audience here, you are journaling to be a better you.

 

Apps

Now there are a bunch of apps available for your phone or tablet that can let you keep your journal on your favorite device. This is particularly useful for those of you who are on the go a lot but still want to journal regularly. A quick search on your phone or tablet will bring up all sorts of apps (try “journal” or “diary” as your keywords). Read the description, comments, and check the ratings to see if an app might be a good option for you. Note: Some of these apps will be free while others will have a fee attached to them.

 

Don’t have time to journal? Need a little inspiration?

There are so many journals out there that ask so little of you. Some journals only ask for a line a day while others give you daily prompts to keep you going. If you like making lists, there are journals out there for you too. A quick search will bring up more options than you can even imagine, but here are a few journals that have a great deal of potential:

 

Let’s hear from you! What sorts of journals have you tried? What are you using now?

Prompts, Writer Wednesday, Writing Quotes, Writing Tips

Writer Wednesday 38

Quotes, prompts, inspiration, and more to help writers get back to writing. As always, let me know what you think! Did you try one of these writing prompts? Let me know! I love to see what other writers are up to. <3 Kyle

Writer Wednesday with quote

Quotes

“There is some relationship between the hunger for truth and the search for the right words. This struggle may be ultimately indefinable and even undecidable, but one damn well knows it when one sees it.” -Christopher Hitchens

“A writer needs three things, experience, observation, and imagination, any two of which, at times any one of which, can supply the lack of the others.” -William Faulkner

“Writing makes no noise, except groans, and it can be done everywhere, and it is done alone.” -Ursula K. Le Guin

“A classic is a classic not because it conforms to certain structural rules, or fits certain definitions (of which its author had quite probably never heard). It is classic because of a certain eternal and irrepressible freshness.” -Edith Wharton

Journaling

Prompts

{{Have prompts you would like to see featured on a Writer Wednesday? Submit them here.}}

A character that nobody likes becomes somebody everyone loves.

All social media is banned. How does the world survive?

When all the water dried up.

47 things to do with ___________.

Your character’s first kiss.

More writing prompts here.

All social media is banned. How does the

More

6 Reasons to Start Journaling Now!

10 Rules for Writing New Adult Fiction

Writing about Medieval Times

More writing tips here

 

moremoremore!

Have something to share? This is your chance to promote yourself, your blog, or even just a helpful site you came across. Submissions go here (and let’s hope they are writing related.)

Looking for more prompts and inspiration? Check out previous Writer Wednesdays!

Spread the love! Like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter. Maybe Tumblr is more your speed? Let’s join forces on Pinterest as well!

Write on!

Journaling

Journaling: 6 Reasons to Start Journaling Now

As promised, today we start our journaling mini-series! If you missed the introduction to this series, you can find it here. Now that you’re all caught up, let’s get started! <3 Kyle


 

6 Reasons to Start Journaling Now

I am confident in saying that journaling has always been a passion of mine. When I was a child, I kept various diaries that had entries that read more like lists of activities than anything else. As I grew older, my journal became a way for me to reflect on things that were going on in my life and sort out my thoughts. Looking back I can honestly say that I am grateful for every entry (even the cringe-worthy ones) because I now have a record of moments that have made me who I am today.

However, I recognize that not everyone journals. Some people think they don’t have the time to journal, others feel foolish doing it, or maybe even worry that someone will come across their private journal and read it. I’m not here to say those things don’t matter to you, but they really shouldn’t matter. If these reasons (or other reasons) are holding you back from starting the journaling process, it is time to be reminded of all the reasons why you should journal:

6 Reasons to Start Journaling Now

Get to know yourself.

One of the best parts of journaling is that each entry gives you a better idea of who you are as a person. Knowing yourself is the key to happiness, so why wouldn’t you want to take a few minutes out of your day to do this? Even if you cannot journal every day, don’t let this keep you from starting a journal. Writing a little bit whenever you can is better than writing nothing at all. You’d be surprised at how quick a little writing here and there can add up.

 

Deal with stress in a healthy way.

You know how talking through a problem with someone tends to help you sort out where to go from there? Well, what about the times you can’t talk to someone else? This is where journaling comes in. This gives you a place to think through decisions privately and find out where you stand.

Even when I have someone to talk through a problem with, I like to journal. As human beings, we are susceptible to peer pressure so I like to know where I stand as an individual before I let other’s weigh in on something that directly impacts my life. When it has to do with me and my life, I want to make sure I have a say in it. Journal first and talk to others if that isn’t enough. Most importantly though, make sure you are true to yourself.

 

Everyone needs a judgement-free zone.

Your journal is a place where you can say/write anything that comes into your mind without worrying about someone else’s judgment. Real life doesn’t always offer us this, but your journal should. Embrace the judgement-free zone.

 

Record memories.

Do you remember your first day of high school? What about your first crush? First kiss? That trip to France? Your first job? The day you got your dog? I do. In fact, I remember the moments I have actually forgotten. How is that possible? With a journal.

Looking at old entries of mine reminds me of the details of memories that have begun to fade or disappear altogether. We all have a lot on our minds at any given time, and I cannot begin to describe how much I appreciate the time I have taken to journal over the years now that I can look back and remember moments that have since slipped away. It’s comforting to see where I came from and now I can fully appreciate the journey I have made thus far.

 

It’s good writing practice.

Okay, I’m a writer so this had to be on the list. I understand that not everyone likes writing for whatever reason. Maybe you don’t know what to write about or you don’t know how to organize your thoughts. Maybe you associate writing with an in school activity and cringe at the thought. Maybe getting a D on a paper scarred you for the rest of your writing life. Journaling is the solution. You know the topic and have a means of organization built in (the date, event, or prompt your responding to). On top of that, this isn’t academic writing. No one is forcing you to write and no one is grading you. With terms like these, you might find that you actually enjoy writing.

 

Only you can tell your story.

Sure, you could wait until your rich and famous to hire someone to write your biography, but even then that wouldn’t be a full picture of who you are. Only you know the full story. Even though the purpose of journaling doesn’t rely on people reading your journals (in fact, I discourage this as it taints the judgement-free zone), it is nice to have a record of who you really are along with your personal growth.

keeping a journal